Double Rainbow Babies

 Hello All!

Well, for those of you who are not on my Facebook, big news! We are expecting twins!! I know right? It was not anywhere near what I was expecting! 

I should have taken a hint when the ultrasound tech was like "Hey, do you wanna facetime anyone?" My one and only concern at that particular point was just to hear the heartbeat. I was in no way prepared for the news that came next. "No, it's okay. My husband is at work. I just want to hear the heartbeat." The ultrasound tech just laughed. "Well, there's two of them..." "SAY WHAT????" "You're expecting twins!!" 

I just laid there for a moment, the rush of emotions hitting me full force. The main emotion though was "GOD IS GOOD!" 

I just happy sobbed on the table with the ultrasound tech rejoicing with me! NOT only did I get my rainbow baby, I now had a DOUBLE rainbow! My heart was full and my head was full of so many questions and concerns and anxieties! But just for a moment, I let myself rest in the fact that God had provided, and He would always provide no matter what happened. At this point I was 10 weeks and a few days. Already two weeks past the time I lost my little Scout, so it gave me hope. 

I messaged JD, and it went like this...

The picture was sent after I called him. He was on his way into work when I asked him if he was sitting down... He said "Yes..." "Okay, well, everything good. It's just that... It's twins!" "I KNEW it! I messaged Robbie (his brother) as soon as you said nooooooo and I was like I bet it twins!" I just laughed. "I can't believe it, babe! A double blessing! Are you okay?" "Yeah, my bosses are looking at me now. They just said my face is going red." "Okay, well, I love you!" "I love you too! Twins... Really?" 

I knew JD would freak out a little, but he took it well all things considered! He's a planner, so I knew the dollar signs were already flashing before his eyes, and the logistics were running around in his mind! But we were both so thankful God had provided! 

I took to telling all the family and all those I message regularly! I'm awful at keeping happy secrets about myself! I found out I would also need a specialist doctor and an ultrasound every time I would go in since I'm now technically considered high risk. 

I would be lying if I said it's been easy. It has not been easy in the slightest. The first trimester was REALLY rough, and I was either super nauseous or super exhausted. But now I knew why! I also had the added fun of something like IBS that started after my miscarriage. So I would get stomach cramps all the time which really freaked me out. 

I went to see the specialist two weeks later, and babies were looking good! Baby A was an overachiever and measured at 12 weeks and 3 days, and baby B measured on track with me at 12 weeks and 1 day. It was almost time to announce it to the world! 

With my stomach cramps and general discomfort, my anxiety had been hard to manage. After losing the last one, I'm always worried something wrong is going to happen. I have to give it constantly to God and trust that there's not much in my control at this point. It's been a hard road guys, I'm not going to lie. Also since I had to switch medication for my clinical depression, I think that has also affected my anxiety level since anxiety and clinical depression go hand in hand. My mom is always there to chat and bring down my stress levels and remind me that God is in control no matter what happens. Something that struck my mind was "Honey, you could lose your twins at eighteen years old. God is in control no matter what." 

The beginning of the second trimester has finally started! I am feeling a bit better, and I have more energy than I did in the first. However, my stomach is growing at the speed of light it feels like, and suddenly I'm buying maternity underwear off Amazon. 💁

We waited till I was almost 13 weeks to announce the babies. For those of you who didn't see the Facebook announcement, here's the pictures!

I am currently obsessed with Baby Yoda from the Mandalorian on Disney +, so of course I had to use it for a baby announcement! Of course, originally it had been planned for one! 🙈

I got my fourteen week check up last week! I got the joy of seeing their little arms and legs moving around, and it gave my heart such joy! I got the same ultrasound tech that announced it was twins, and we relived the moment, laughing and rejoicing together! Seeing their little personalities already developing and the incredible development that had happened in just FOUR weeks always puts me in awe. There is SO much that happens in the first 10 weeks, and now it was building and maintaining their little bodies to be ready for the outside world!

Also, A and B could have switched places at any time. Baby A only refers to the baby closest to the cervix, which I had no idea was a thing! It was a little too early for the technician to look for the sexes, so I had to be patient and wait a little longer!

Well, of course, something else went wrong, and I was not feeling good. So I had to go in the other day as well. I was at 15 weeks and 3 days. The technician actually gave me the sweet little surprise of finding out the genders!! I won't tell y'all yet though... I'll just double check at the 18 week mark just to make sure. 😏 Right now I get the joy of taking antibiotics for a bacterial infection, so that's fun! But as long as babies are okay, I'm okay! I get some pretty bad anxiety every time I see unusual discharge. I think I may have a touch of PTSD after the last miscarriage, so I am learning to REALLY trust God with everything I have. Even writing this blog is a step in trust not knowing what the future holds. The one thing I know though, is God is still God, and I can trust Him no matter what. 

I'll give you guys a sneak peek at the babies at the 15 week and 3 day mark! Baby A was shy, so I only got Baby A's back! I will take votes now for what YOU think the genders are!

I'm SO looking forward to holding these little ones in my arms! I know it will be hard work, and just from the experience of having ONE, I know it will be life changing. However, God has blessed me with my double rainbow babies, and I will never regret this. Not for one second! Loss has just made me so much more aware of how much a blessing these two are! So continue to pray for me, guys! There is still so much ahead, and we're getting closer and closer to the half way mark! 

Thank you to every single person who has embraced me in love and prayers! I feel them at the very core of my being! The fellowship of my church and my fellow brother and sisters in Christ has given me such hope and joy in this time of waiting! You guys are the best!

Peace to you all, 

Keri Lynn