So I'm going to bring up a difficult subject that I think all godly couples struggle with. The physical aspect of your relationship seems to tricky at times because you wonder if maybe you're taking things too far, or if you're crossing some unseen line. What brings glory to God and what doesn't? Obviously sex is the big no-no. I mean, everyone knows that. But what about everything else? What's good and what's not? JD and I had decided from the beginning not to kiss. This had been something I had decided a long time ago before JD and I ever started dating. I knew instinctively that it would make it more difficult to stay pure in my thought life, but it was also a gift I could give to my future husband whomever he may be.
I think that the questions "How much is too much?" or "Where is the line?" aren't the right questions to be asking. I think it may be more appropriate to ask, "Would my future spouse appreciate what I'm doing now if this is not the man/woman for me?" or, "Is this bringing glory to God?" or even, "Am I thinking lustful thoughts when I am doing a certain thing?" Comparing what you're doing to others or to past relationships, I believe, isn't the right line of thinking. Comparing your relationship to the word of God is what, I believe, is the right way to handle things. It's also the challenge of testing your heart and your mind because even the act of holding hands can be a heady feeling. If you compromise now, can your future spouse trust you even after marriage? This article has really helped JD and I in are desire to do what is right in God's eyes even when it's difficult: http://garrettkell.com/satans-strategy-to-destroy-your-marriage-before-it-begins/.
We are by no means a perfect example of a godly relationship, but I hope that as time progresses, we will be able to glorify God even more in our hearts as well as our bodies. No person is perfect, but I believe we should strive to please God in all we do. I'm going to post a picture of our new rules below, and I invite you to help keep us accountable to these rules. These rules are not for everyone. These rules are not to make you feel bad. These rules aren't even met to make you feel inferior. All these rules are is a way to help keep JD and I glorify God in the physical sense of our relationship. We may change them. We may take away or add rules. This is for us, and will help keep us personally responsible. It's kind of Boy Meets Girl style, but I really think it will aid us in our relationship.
I plan on printing this out and putting it on my refrigerator so that my roommates can help keep us accountable as well. I know they love me and want to support me in any way necessary. Also, below the quote "May we be consumed with the creator of things rather than with things created," I have a list of what we are allowed to do. They are as follows... 1. Standing up hugging. 2. Holding hands. 3. Sitting up next to each other. It won't always be easy, but I know that with God's help, we will glorify His name. I love my Jesus above all else, and I want to please Him above all else. He truly is my sufficiency. JD is an added blessing to my life. I am blessed to see him becoming such a godly man, and I hope that God will continue to bless our relationship.
Peace to all,
Keri Lynn
P.S. If you have any suggestions, feel free to leave a comment! :)
3 comments:
What is the difference between holding each other and holding hands? LD:)
This is great. I spend a good portion of my time with beautiful young youth group ladies and every time one of them comes to me with a relationship question starting with "How far..." or "How much..." the red flags pop up. I have spent a great deal of time discussing boundaries with them and talking about honoring God to the fullest instead of as little as we can with still being "good". Because when we think about it, isn't asking how far we can go fairly similar to asking "What is the least honorable we can be and still bring God glory?"... I love the idea of writing out boundaries and posting them up in plain sight for all to see. What a great plan of accountability. Love it!!
Best of luck to you and JD! And congrats on finishing up your undergrad work, that's a great accomplishment!!
Hey LD!
The difference between holding hands and holding each other is quite different. Holding each other means putting our arms around each other either sitting down or lying down, and it's more of an intimate act. We have done this before, and that's why we are no longer doing it. By itself, it may not necessarily be wrong, but it will probably lead to other things as we found out. Holding hands can do the same thing, but if we draw the line at that, it makes it easier to not cross boundaries. It's kind of hard to explain, but I hope that made sense.
Second Anonymous, (Can you message me and tell me who you are? haha)
That's really great that you get to help young women out. Being on the younger side, I understand the struggle young women go through. We have messed up, and that's why we are trying to do what's right. It is indeed a constant battle, and I can't let my guard down, and neither can he. But I believe it will be worth it in the end whether we end up married or not. If we can do this, we will be able to trust each other all the more after we possibly get married. And thanks for the congratulations! I'm so glad that God got me through it! :)
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