30 Lessons in 30 Years

 Hey all!

I can't believe it, but I have officially made it to my 30's!! And my lovely father gifted me this card! 

The funny thing is I DO remember when thirty sounded so old. But here I am! Every person's journey is different, but I am currently thirty, married for seven years, and four kids deep, life ain't slowing down any time soon! 

I wanted to share thirty things I have learned in thirty years. (I am just SO clever. 😜)  While you're reading this, please keep in mind this is coming from a Christian perspective. If you are not a Christian, you are still free to read it, it just may not have the same message for you. I'm sure there's still things you'll appreciate though. Without much ado (And not much time to write this), here we go! 

1. First and foremost, the lesson that means the most to me has been that God is always there for me. Always. Even when I don't feel Him with me. Even when the world is crashing down around me. Even when I don't understand what He's doing. He will always, always have my back. He is my best friend. He is forever faithful.

2. You will NEVER please everyone. As someone who has struggled with making everyone happy, I have also gone to the other extreme and not cared AT ALL. Neither of these are good takes. It's okay if you don't make everyone happy. The only One you should care about what they think of you is Jesus Himself. Does this please God? If yes, do it. If no, don't do it. Simple.

3. It's okay to be weird. None of us are the same. We all have different gifts and talents to use in this world. How boring would our world be if we were all the same?? As long as you (if you're a Christian) following God's word, be that WEIRD you. 

Cosplaying as Aqua from Kingdom Hearts at Dragon Con

4. It can be really hard to speak up, but it's important that you do! If you're in an awkward situation and you know something is wrong, it's important you say something. More than likely there will be another person in the group who feels the same but can't get the guts to speak up. This is hard. I know. I was a very quiet kid in my elementary years. But if you don't speak up, who will?

5. I have learned that mental health is a scientific and spiritual issue. I used to think that depression meant that I didn't have enough trust in God to make it through to the other side. I didn't understand that in my case, it was a chemical imbalance in my brain. I prayed, I cried, I searched the word, and I pled with God who felt so very far away. I think we probably do have an over medication problem because spiritual problems are being addressed by physical solutions. (Which still leaves people empty and confused.) BUT there are also scientific reasons for many mental illnesses and they need to be addressed. It's okay to seek help! Be merciful with those who struggle even when you don't understand. I wish I had been more merciful back in my younger years when I thought I knew better. 

6. Denying yourself is a good thing in the long run. Not that you can't do things you enjoy or take time to have some self care. But God calls us to deny ourselves, take up our crosses, and follow Him. Sometimes it's a better idea to drink tea than eat the ice cream. Sometimes it's better to go to the gym and keep your health when all you want to do is stay home. Taking care of your babies when all you want to do is sleep is holy work. It's hard. It takes sacrifice. But oh man is it worth it! 

7. It is okay to NOT be perfect! I really struggled with this as a kid. Like really struggled. Ironically, I was a Type A personality as a kid. (I'm more of a type B or AB now). I often made perfect grades, had to be on time at all times, and had to have perfect attendance. These are all good things. Being obsessed with them, on the other hand, is a problem. There is only one perfect person, and His name is Jesus.

I was perfectionist back in my elementary days! Especially as I got in the later grades. HAD to have perfect attendance. HAD to have perfect scores! HAD to get all the rewards! 

8. Try to get off social media at least once a week. For some of you, this might be pretty easy because it might be tiring for you. But social media fanatics like me struggle with it. We love to be in the know! I absolutely LOVE to see your latest pics of your kids, your life, and your ups and downs. I try to be real on social media too, but it's still usually the best of me you see. It can be great to connect you with people you don't or can't normally see. However, it's not a place for conversations like you can have in real life. It's not a stand in for quality time. There's also the negativity and the fighting. Don't get me wrong, sometimes those conversations are vital and important, but they're usually better in real life. 

9. Forgiveness is key in your life. If you cannot forgive, you will be stuck in the same place spiritually for the rest of your life. As I've heard before, forgiveness is for you, not the other person who wronged you. Of course, forgiveness can be given to those who have wronged you for them as well. Wronging someone and realizing it can cause immense pain, and that forgiveness can allow that person to move on with their lives as well. If Jesus can forgive the people killing Him while on the cross, you can forgive too.

10. Get in a team sport at some point! Even if you don't particularly enjoy the sport, learning to work with others is critical! And you may actually get better at the sport you try WAY later in your life. Like I actually became decent at soccer in my college days! HAHA

Look at the good ol' 90's soccer pics! I'm just tripping down memory lane!

11. Along the same lines, I learned being in the arts was very helpful for understanding art and playing piano and singing! Even if you don't become proficient in it, having a basic understanding can help you understand others. I took several years of dance, hula, tap, and piano. Basically, I had a well rounded arts education even being the oldest of seven at the time. You might even get piano lessons from a practical hermit for a few years! HAHA

My ballet and tap dance class and teacher! I don't even remember my teacher's name, but she was awesome! I had a couple different teachers. One of the positives to California is that I had teachers from all sorts of different backgrounds and experiences!

11. Emotions will LIE to you! I learned this especially having clinical depression when my head was literally telling me the opposite of the actual problem. But mental illness is NOT the only time your feelings will lie to you. This lesson goes along with the horrible advice "Follow your heart." Unless your heart is in the right place, this is AWFUL advice. Like my heart is telling me to eat an entire galloon of ice cream and ignore any responsibilities I might have. 

12. Following number 11, WISDOM is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is great, but if you can't use it correctly if you don't use wisdom alongside it. Wisdom is knowing HOW to use knowledge. This can come through two avenues. Experience and learning from others. The first is significantly more painful. If you can, try to learn from others. As a Christian, Biblical wisdom is the most important. There is wisdom for anything and everything within the pages of His word. Look for it and seek it with your whole heart! 

13. Having a big family can be a real joy! It's also a real challenge! However, I wouldn't trade it for the world! Each of us have our own unique personalities and talents. We are not a monolith, and now I know if I ever see a big group, they don't all have the same feelings, opinions, or attitudes. So when you see a big family, please understand we are not the same person. Just like any big group of people, we have our differences, but we love each other all the same!

14. Adventure is out there!! If you can't afford a major vacation to the Bahamas, just step out your door! Back when we lived in California, we'd take the Metro into the middle of Los Angeles then up to Hollywood to Universal Studio City Walk. (Which was free to walk through right next to the theme park.) We would also go to Grand Central Station and walk up a Hispanic street called Olvera Street full of delicious food and cool shops. Of course, be careful and use wisdom depending on the situation, but if you can, explore your city! Take lots of walks! Breathe in the fresh air! (Or city air when we were kids. haha) 

15. Value the older generation! They have gone through some things we could never imagine and have a lot of wisdom to impart. I wish I had spent more time with my grandparents even though I did get to regularly see them. Two of my grandparents have passed away and my great grandma I got to know also passed away. I lost my Papa not too long ago, and I still remember learning about TVs and engineering, but I also remember praying with him, learning about God, and him taking me to his local church he worked so hard for. A true man of God. My Granddaddy was similar, I just didn't get as much time with him. My Granddaddy was a pastor at a Hispanic church in Los Angeles, and that's where I tried traditional tamales and got to see him work. I miss these men of God. I miss my great grandma who came from a hard background and loved her Jesus like no one else. She introduced me to my favorite missionary, Gladys Aylward, a missionary to China. From then on, I wanted to be a missionary to China! It's ironic I ended up in Japan instead! That was a God thing too since my Papa used to live in a Japanese neighborhood with the gardens, koi ponds, and everything. But I digress.

16, If you can, travel internationally! Get to know a different culture, and you might just find out you love it! As I've mentioned before, I'm practically Asian at heart. I especially LOVED Japan. I loved the culture and the people. Especially my Japanese Christians friends! The perfect blend of the polite Japanese culture mixed with the freedom of expressing their love for one another. I've also been to Jamaica, which was cool too! I just didn't get to spend nearly as much time there! Eventually I would love to go visit some of my students in China, try out some yummy Korean food, and visit some friends in the Philippians! I would also love to go to Europe at least once as well as seeing where Lord of the Rings was filmed in New Zealand. I also want to go to Australia... SO basically I want to go everywhere. Whether or not that will ever happen is up to God! 

Some of my sweet students I taught English to at the international school I worked with!

Japanese Hot Pot is the BEST! I really miss it.

I even got to work with a special needs class near and dear to my heart!

My dear friend Yuko who orchestrated one of my trips! She's the best!

Ironically, one of our English groups the next year I went was made mostly of Chinese students at Yokohama University! I still see a few of them from time to time on Facebook! :)

One of the daughters of one of the missionary couples in Tokyo Alicia! We're still in contact to this day! (Obviously I could go on and on about Japan, but I will have to stop myself. haha)

17. Children are such a blessing! If we have any hope for our future, we need to value them! If you are a parent, pour into your child. We need them to know they are valued and loved. They hold the future in their little hands. Just ask China and Japan that are struggling with their birth rates going in massive decline with not enough workers to support their older generation. Raising those sweet little babies has put a whole new perspective in my life. Some days it's just keeping the little people alive, but there are moments where I just stare in awe at what God has given me. Don't let the what ifs keep you back.

18. If you can, homeschooling is awesome! There is so much potential! You can focus on what your child is interested in and also spend more time on things they are struggling with. Homeschool groups have some awesome opportunities to learn random and useful stuff! I grew up learning how to crochet, paint, play guitar, and speak different languages in my homeschool group! You don't have to be a millionaire to learn fun stuff! Homeschool gets such a bad rap in the media, I thought I'd throw in some positivity! 

I learned how to paint fabric in shades and Origami from the same teacher! My mom taught the crochet class! My teacher who taught about Asia had learned Japanese and taught it in Japan.

19. Find something about a subject you may not be initially interested in to focus on to make it stick. For example, I learned to really LOVE science in high school because I would debate about evolution and faith with my atheist biology teacher when I went to public school for a few years. I'm sure he was amused, and I was challenged to think over and beyond what I had thought before. It's okay to challenge yourself and to challenge your ideas. If they cannot stand up to scrutiny, you may need to rethink your positions or do more searching. Because of this, I really came to love biology, chemistry, physics, and astronomy. (Down from the smallest particles to the expansive universe and everything in between.) 

This is the Hercules Super Cluster. Within this is clusters made up of galaxies. To give you a picture, our Solar System (Where it would probably take us a year or so to make it to Mars currently.) is within the Milky Way, which is just one system within the Milky Way Galaxy, part of the Virgo cluster, which is part of the Laniakea Supercluster . Feel small yet? 

20. Read, read, read!! Find something that interests you and read! I absolutely love fiction. Historical fiction (I used to read those diaries where they wrote as if they were girls from history), fantasy, and sci-fi. That may not be your speed. Maybe you like biographies. Or informational books. Or self-help books. Whatever it may be, find something! It will help you relate to others and understand differences.

This was the series that got me into reading in childhood. The idea that a bunch of kids could take care of themselves in an old boxcar was fascinating!

21.Live with gratitude. I have found when I am dwelling on the difficulties that my anxiety becomes unbearable, my depression becomes unmanageable, and all hope is gone. Live with gratitude, even if the only thing you can hold to at the moment is Jesus. He is enough. When I have nothing else to give, I rest in the arms of Jesus. When something amazing happens in your life, it makes it all the much sweeter when you realize what you have. 

22. Along with lesson 21, expect challenges in your life. We live in a fallen world with consequences of sin. Sometimes things will happen that no one deserves. Heartbreak will happen. Horrific things will happen here. Whatever may happen, God's burden is light, so give Him yours. Tell Him your pain. He won't be afraid of it. He won't be mad at you for sharing your pain and asking Him why. 

23. Along with lesson 22, live for eternity! I'm just SO thankful this life is not all there is. Death does scare me from time to time, but I realize God is good and I cannot wait to meet Him! Knowing there is eternity to look forward to, my heart longs for home. I can focus on service more knowing I don't have to serve myself. I don't have to experience all the world has to offer because there is something SO much better waiting for me. I want to make my Dad proud! I want no regrets! (Spiritual regrets, not worldly regrets)

24. Words mean something. "Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you" is blatantly FALSE. Be careful what you say. (I've been struggling with this one because politically I am SO salty and SO over everything.) However, we also cannot allow words to rule us either. We have become so touchy to every little thing, we have missed the forest for the tree. The great part is, you DO NOT have to let words rule you. Of course they can hurt you, of course people can say cruel and untrue things. These words, however, do not have to define your life. You know who defines you? God. We are sinners, but we are ALSO His workmanship when we live according to our potential. You cannot make people believe what you say. The same goes for you. You do not have to believe something even if the world tells you you do. "Be the better person" isn't advice for no reason. Do what's right and say what's right even if the rest of the world laughs in your face. 

25. Along with words, study God's word! Memorize the special promises He has for us there. Memorize those precious words! I memorized so much when I was a kid, but I didn't realize how important these words were till later. Also, shout out to AWANA (Approved Workman Are Not Ashamed) back in the day! I still remember so much from my memorization back in the day. Get in the word every day! I'm being a little bit of a hypocrite here because I've been struggling with that being the mother of four now. Haha! 

Chums back in the day! I believe it was 1st through 3rd grade if I remember correctly. Still friends with my director till this day! 😊

26. Watch what you eat and how you work out your body. This is still a work in progress for me, and I'm still learning as I go. I have found muscles are actually more important than cardio. I am also working on less salt and more veggies and protein. After I had Joshua, I acted as if I was still breastfeeding, and I ate waaaayyyyyy too many carbs and spicy stuff considering I have a reflux. HAHA. Unfortunately, the gym is becoming challenging to get to because they're not accepting children under 18 months, so I'm a little ticked about that. If anyone has any ideas, I am all ears. I'm waiting for Zuby's book to come in from the UK. I've been following him on Twitter, and he makes my day! 

Strong Advice: Zuby's Guide to Fitness for Everybody

27. Value every single phase of your life whether you are single, married, widowed, mother, father, etc. I know so many friends who are discouraged being single, and I know so many who are rocking it! Some of my best memories were from my single years. Marriage has its own pros and cons, and I love it too! Your value is not defined by your relationship status. Family matters! If you have a family, pour into them. A better family better serves their community. And this goes for if you are a mom, dad, sister, brother, or grandparent. 

Celebrating Grandma's 59th birthday and Great Grandma is the one on the far left. We loved going to China buffets since you could eat all the food for a decent price in a huge group.

My siblings and I minus Konner. (Keegan was several years away from being born at this point. haah) I'm holding a Bitty Baby from American Girl. We used to have clubs, put on plays, and I would teach them different classes. I was kind of bossy... haha

My single years were spent serving, traveling, and exploring. Being a CA in the international dorm at my college was so fun! Of course, it's not that you can't do these things while married or as a mother, but it becomes a lot more challenging. Singleness allows for a type of freedom you don't have otherwise. (You also do not have to be rich to do a lot of these things. I was as poor a church mouse. Look for opportunities to serve and to explore. Pray about it. You'll find a way.)

On the opposite end of singleness, motherhood is a different kind of adventure! Not as much traveling, but a whole new world awaits you! Raising little humans with their own personalities and interests opens a different world! 

28. Watch what you put into your head. This includes movies, music, and books. If there is too much trash and too much negativity, it will influence your brain. Of course, I'm not advocating for absolutely PureFlix type thinking here. Whatever you're watching or listening to, try to find the message or theme to it. If you are allowing too much darkness and sin in, maybe it's time to pull back. If it is influencing how you see yourself or others, definitely pull back. If it's making sin okay to you, maybe it's time to pull back. One of my new favorite series is actually Cobra Kai. It isn't meant for little kids, but it shows the importance of male role models in the real world. Also karate. 😂 

29. Get to know your neighbors! Of course, this is case by case, but if you can, get to know who you live nearby. There's a real positivity to knowing your neighbors, not just with having new friends, but having people who can look out for you. Even if you don't think you'll like someone, it's still worth trying. It's taken several years, but I've gotten to know a lot of our neighbors both old and young. The older generation has so much wisdom to share and love to spend. The younger generation can have playdates with your kids and have movie nights! This is really hard, especially in the era of social media. But I believe that makes it all the more important. 

30. Busyness is not an accomplishment. Of course, I know this is easier said than done. Especially as my kids get older and the pandemic comes to an end. Sometimes it's better to say no even if you really want to say yes. Quality over quantity, especially for your children. They need playtime. They need your presence. This also goes for yourself. Burning yourself out over a bunch of small things only adds to your checklist, not your quality of life for you or the people you serve. Choose well, and don't just jump in at any given opportunity. Use that wisdom. Sometimes the conversations are more important than the actions. Lean on God, He'll show you the way to go.

I actually have more ideas for lessons, but I think I'll wait for my 40th! I can't wait to see what God will teach me in the next decade! Here's to being "old!" Haha! Also, writing this was a great reminder of what I need to work on personally! I'm hoping it might be the same for you! There's so much to learn, and I look forward to it!

Peace to you all!

Keri Lynn

This is one of my favorite art pieces from childhood I entered into a homeschool competition. It took a lot of time and patience. It was also a lot of fun.